Inspired by the chapter "first lines" from Barbara DeMarco-Barrett's Pen on Fire.
Chapter Take-Away: Find a good first line to work with-- if it hooks you and pulls you through the story it's done its job even if you end up using another first line in the final draft.
If you're going to write, you need an arsenal of good first lines, you need good first lines at your Book's opening, at chapter beginnings and after section breaks. As author Jack Cavanaugh said at the San Diego Christian Writers' Guild 2009 Fall Conference, you don't want to give your readers a good place to put down your book, rather you want to give them every reason to blame you for sleep-deprivation.
These are the series of first lines which got me through my first and second draft:
* He knows, she thought.
* As he sat in classroom 4-A listening to the other kids talking about their summer plans, his spirits dug a ditch and crawled in.
* Fifteen-year-old Dannen Pyke broke into a run.
* A shadow passed in front of his eyelids and he opened to see a figure looming over him.
I am now down to the following two for my opening options in my final draft:
* The Watcher perched on the roof of a convenience store, his wings extended behind.
* The first time Dannen noticed the clouds that didn't change was on the way to Grandpa Joe Moses' house to be dumped for a summer of exile.
And as I look through my short list of first lines for future projects I find the following:
* The doctor leaned over her open palm.
* Let me make this abundantly clear: this story is not about me.
* Tomorrow my life ends.
Here are some good first lines-- let's see if we can dissect them and find out why they are good.
1)That fool of a fairy Lucinda did not intend to lay a curse on me. (Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine)
WHY is it good?
It shows personality.
It tells the genre (fairytale).
It presents a problem-- a curse,
and reveals Point of View: first person.
2) Late on a full-mooned Sunday night, the two figures in work clothes appeared on Highway 27, just outside the small college town of Ashton. (This Present Darkness, by Frank E. Peretti)
WHY is it good?
It gives the location
and time of day--
with a hint of mood in the details.
It gives a ring of the mysterious:
these figures "appeared"
as from out of nowhere,
so we can expect the extra-ordinary in this book
and it begs the question Why have they appeared?
3) It began one day in summer about thirty years ago, and it happened to four children.(Half Magic, by Edward Eager)
WHY is it good?
It, again, gives a time frame
and season.
It tells who the main characters are going to be
and hooks the reader with the detail "it happened"--
You naturally have to know what "it" is.
4) When the city of Ember was just built and not yet inhabited, the chief builder and the assistant builder, both of them weary, sat down to speak of the future. (The City of Ember, by Jeanne DuPrau)
WHY is it good?
It states the place.
That it was just built and not yet inhabited are
intriguing details.
And the fact that the chief builder and assistant are both weary
is a telling fact as well,
when you would expect excitement
even celebration
over their finished project,
whose purpose is about to be realized,
their somber mood suggests something about
the city's perhaps less-than-bright future.
5) Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world. (Eragon, by Christopher Paolini)
WHY is it good?
The detail of howling wind anchors the reader in an expectation of something ominous.
It grips the reader with a need to know what the scent is?
And it announces a promise: the world is about to change.
Reader Input:
What is your favorite first line? What book? What author?
And, alternately, what is the first line of your favorite book?
Finally, can you pinpoint WHY it is good?
